You are NOT your trauma. Here's how you can recover from negative experiences and regain control over your life!

Friday: Mindfulness by Miles FROM THE DESK OF MILES EVERSON: Welcome to “Mindfulness by Miles!” Every Friday, I talk about tips and insights that are useful in my everyday life. These include advice on how to live your best life, become a better version of yourself, boost your career, and more. Today, I’d like to share my thoughts on how to heal from a negative event in your life. I believe talking about these kinds of topics too will help us move forward with no regrets, fear, or doubts. Are you ready? Keep reading to know some ways to recover from negative experiences and free yourself from all the pessimistic thoughts surrounding you. CEO, MBO Partners Chairman of the Advisory Board, The I Institute

You are NOT your trauma. Here's how you can recover from negative experiences and regain control over your life! Have you ever experienced a traumatic or negative event in your life? It could be something that took place in your home, work, school, etc. According to the American Psychological Association, trauma is an “emotional response to a terrible event such as accidents or natural disasters.” Life experiences like divorce, illness, or death can also be traumatic, making someone feel shocked and in denial. In the long term, the effects of these experiences can also manifest through flashbacks, volatile emotions, and physical symptoms like headache, nausea, and fatigue. I’ve also had my fair share of traumatic or negative experiences too. For me, these situations are like physical injuries because they throw me off balance and make me want to distance myself from others. What’s worse? These experiences keep me up at night! Sometimes, flashbacks keep playing in my head to the point where I couldn’t function properly. If you’re someone who’s had a similar experience, here’s what I would like to tell you: It’s okay to not be okay. Life is not always a bed of roses. It’s actually a combination of the good times and the bad times. Also, it’s valid to feel down, mourn, or want to distance yourself from others for a while because of a bad incident. However, remember that you shouldn’t stay that way for long. You also have to make a decision to get up, overcome the gloominess, and move on with your life. Besides, in case you don’t know yet, stressing too much about a traumatic or negative experience can lead to long-term health problems. These include: Heart and liver diseases Chronic pain conditions Gastrointestinal illnesses Cancer Anxiety and depression Cognitive impairment such as memory lapses, distractibility, and lost sense of time That’s why if you’re going through some tough time right now, my recommendation is to let yourself go through the proper recovery process—don’t run away or be in denial—so you can successfully move on with your life. There are 3 phases of recovery or healing from a traumatic situation. The first one is safety and stabilization. The aim of this phase is to regain your sense of safety in the world. Since negative experiences make you feel unsafe and wary of people, it’s important that you are able to stabilize your emotions. This can take days, months, or years, depending on the gravity of your experience. The first step of this phase is to acknowledge your emotions and identify which of them are linked to the traumatic event. Afterwards, you have to learn how to manage these emotions so you can also regain control over your responses to certain internal or external triggers. You may do this with the help of a loved one or a therapist. Talking to these people can help calm your senses and go through the process as smoothly as possible. The second phase is remembrance and mourning. This is about processing the negative situation and using words and emotions to put it into context. Therapy, whether in an individual setting or a group setting, is a key part of this phase. Also, take your time in this process. The goal is not to relive the negative experience or to get rid of uncomfortable feelings. The aim is to achieve a healthy middle ground, so give yourself enough time to grieve and express your emotions. The last phase is reconnection and integration. Here, the goal is for you to birth a new self and renewed hope for a better future. You don’t let the negative experience define you; instead, you redefine yourself. Take concrete steps to regain your personal power. Identify an activity you’re passionate about, such as helping others, gardening, painting, dancing, etc. These things can serve as good distractions and foster quicker recovery. Another way to work through your trauma is to stay true to your core values and principles. This will enable you to keep in touch with who you truly are, which is also an essential aspect of healing from your negative experiences. I hope you find today’s topic helpful and insightful! Remember: Trauma recovery doesn’t imply we’ll never experience painful emotions or situations ever again. We probably still will, but unlike before, we’ll know how to work our way through those events and not let ourselves be controlled or defined by them. Have a great day today and advance happy weekend!     Follow us on LinkedIn.