Forgive and Let Go: How can you break free from all the negativity holding you back?

Friday: Mindfulness by Miles FROM THE DESK OF MILES EVERSON: Welcome to “Mindfulness by Miles!” Every Friday, I talk about various topics that I find useful in my everyday life. These include insights and advice on living your best life, becoming a better version of yourself, letting go of negative thoughts, exercising gratitude, and more. I hope you’ll also be interested and compelled to apply these tips and lessons in your personal life and career. Ready for today’s topic? Keep reading below to know some practical ways to let go of all the negativity in your life. CEO, MBO Partners Chairman of the Advisory Board, The I Institute

Forgive and Let Go: How can you break free from all the negativity holding you back? Anger. Hurt. Resentment. People call these things “baggage” for a reason. They weigh you down, hold you back, and keep you from becoming the person you’re meant to be. I’m not just talking about feeling down because your mindset is in a bad place. While it’s true that negative thoughts and emotions weigh on your mind, the effect doesn’t stop there. Negativity and stress also create physiological responses that can cause damage to your body over time. In the book, “Game Changers: What Leaders, Innovators, and Mavericks Do to Win at Life,” author Dave Asprey wrote about several proven techniques for becoming happier, healthier, and smarter. According to him, wisdom gleaned from highly successful people could be divided into 3 main objectives: Finding ways to become smarter, faster, and happier. Based on conversations with some world-class thought leaders, he was able to compile 46 science-backed, high performance “hacks” that serve as a playbook for how to get better at life. I haven’t read Asprey’s book yet but I’m interested to know more about what amazing insights he has to offer. As someone who’s always on the lookout for new knowledge that will help me improve my personal life and career, I’m eager to know Asprey’s practical advice and recommendations for better performance. I read a synopsis of his book, though. From there, I saw there’s a part in his book that talks about forgiving oneself and letting go of the negativity in one’s life. Speaking of forgiveness, allow me to ask you this question: How do you respond to unpleasant events or situations? Do you… … shut yourself out from the rest of the world? … beat yourself up for feeling helpless? … process that entire event or situation, learn from your mistakes, and then move on with your life? According to emotional expert Dr. Joan Rosenberg, unpleasant emotions are a part of life. That’s why for her, it’s crucial that you know how to deal with these instances. She said: “So that rather than feeling like you’re falling apart, or you’re unraveling, or you have to shut down, what you’re able to do is actually to stay present to what you’re experiencing in the moment, then not do anything to try to get away from it. No avoidance, no distraction, no disconnection. And you move through it.” Here’s the thing: To successfully do what Rosenberg said, the first step you need to take is to forgive yourself. I personally agree with this because to truly move on with your life, you have to stop beating yourself up for things you don’t have control over. Stop feeling sorry for what isn’t your fault. Instead, make that choice to be happy and let go of all the negative thoughts and feelings surrounding you! How can you do this? Identify the stories you tell yourself, and STOP LYING to yourself. According to Rosenberg, your brain plows through a HUGE portion of your body’s energy so it takes the path of least resistance whenever possible to conserve resources. One of its favorite shortcuts? Using a story over and over! This is helpful when you’re telling yourself good stories, but sometimes, this is also harmful, especially when your brain is riding on a train of lies. Example: Every time you remind yourself of what you CANNOT do, your brain will start using that information repeatedly until it becomes a “limiting belief.” Eventually, these beliefs will have a hold on you to the point you think they’re as set-in-stone as your height or eye color. On the other hand, if you tell yourself stories of how you overcame or can overcome your limitations, you’ll experience positive impacts on your life. Your brain will recycle those narratives and will result in an overall brighter outlook in life. Practice forgiveness and gratitude for more positive thinking. Self-pity is a form of heavy, negative thinking. Another one is being angry with people or situations for no apparent reason. Let me give you some advice: There will always be instances where you’ll feel angry at someone or someone will feel angry towards you. It’s part of human interaction. It’s how you deal with it that makes the difference. Example: If someone bumped into you and you perceived it as a shove, you’re going to label that person as aggressive and put your guard up… or if you got triple the workload of your colleagues, you might perceive it as others trying to skate by at your expense.. It’s easy to fall into the “everyone’s out to get me” mode of thinking. This means sometimes, when you think someone slighted you on purpose, the reality is that person didn’t. It could just be you making all those dissociations in your head. When you start feeling this way, try to come up with reasons why you’re in that situation or why people seem to treat you like that. Pick a story that allows you to empathize with their behavior. What else? Forgiving and letting go of someone or something can help! Doing these literally rewires your brain to dissolve negative feelings about a situation, feel happier in the moment, and train your mind to look for joy and satisfaction in every situation. I hope you find these tips helpful and insightful! Personally, I’ve been practicing these myself too. Sure, believing in myself and always choosing to forgive and let go of all the bad things are easier said than done. However, I’ve noticed that by choosing to do these things, I’m helping myself become happier, healthier, and smarter—the main concepts in Asprey’s “Game Changer” book. May you also find the courage to choose happiness every day! Let go of all the negativity holding you back. You’ll see, this will have lasting, positive impacts on how you interact with and react to people, and perceive the world around you.     Follow us on LinkedIn.