Apply these tips to build good relationships with different kinds of people—even with those who are difficult to deal with!

Friday: Mindfulness by Miles

FROM THE DESK OF MILES EVERSON:

You can’t predict who you’ll deal with in your career and journey as an independent professional.

Sometimes, working with your colleagues

will be smooth-sailing, but other times, there will be people who you’ll find very difficult.

But that doesn’t mean you refuse to work with them once you’ve encountered them and saw signs of a not-so-good working relationship.

You can still flourish a healthy work culture even in the midst of dealing with difficult people.

Read more to learn about science-based tips on how you can positively deal with difficult people in your life.

miles-everson-signature.png
CEO, MBO Partners
Chairman of the Advisory Board, The I Institute

 

 

Apply these tips to build good relationships with different kinds of people—even with those who are difficult to deal with!

It’s true: Difficult people are a part of life.

However, having the wrong connections with and approaches to these kinds of people can jeopardize your performance and weigh you down as an independent professional.

In a normal and realistic mindset, an ideal scenario to deal with these instances would be to simply avoid these people.

The problem?

That’s not always applicable and possible!

Good thing American author Dave Asprey wrote about this topic in one of his blogs. According to him, there are several ways to deal with difficult people.

These include:

  1. Practicing empathy.

    Empathy is key to establishing good connections with other people.

    So, instead of shunning away someone because you see them as difficult or unpleasant to be with, take a minute or two to put yourself in their shoes.

    You can do this by:

    • Asking someone about himself or herself.
    • Listening to that person’s stories.
    • Showing interest in something that person likes.
    • Being compassionate towards them.

    Empathy allows you to see the world from a difficult person’s point-of-view. This characteristic is hard-wired, but it’s a skill you can learn and improve.

  2. Boosting your oxytocin levels.

    Oxytocin is a hormone that is involved in childbirth and breastfeeding. This is also associated with trust, empathy, sexual activity, and relationship-building.

    When you perceive someone as trustworthy, or when someone sees you as trustworthy, the brain releases a hormone that signals the relationship is safe.

    However, when you’re dealing with difficult people, chances are you won’t get that same high level of oxytocin in your body.

    But don’t fret! You can still boost your oxytocin levels even when you’re not particularly connected to a person.

    You can do that by hugging more and prioritizing face-to-face interactions with different kinds of people.

  3. Learning to take responsibility for your actions.

    While it’s true that you can’t change or control another person, you can change or control yourself.

    So, learn to identify your own emotional triggers and analyze why that particular person’s behavior or attitude gets to you negatively.

    Then ask yourself, “What’s my responsibility in this situation?”

    Once you have this kind of awareness, you’ll be less emotionally reactive and be better equipped to assess situations accordingly.

  4. Being thankful and grateful.

    Thankfulness and gratefulness are fundamental to long-term happiness. A lot of studies show that gratitude makes a person happier, more optimistic, empathic, and emotionally open.

    Additionally, gratitude works at a neural level, so expressing one creates pathways that lead to more positive thinking.

    Then, when you’re feeling positive about your own life, you’ll be less likely to get annoyed and affected by a negative interaction with someone.

  5. Getting high-quality sleep.

    Sleep makes you more emotionally alert, calm, and present―all valuable tools when you’re faced with a difficult person.

    This is because when you sleep, your brain processes emotions and memories you’ve had throughout the day.

    So, when you get less sleep, you’ll be more tense, anxious, reactive, and even depressed―all characteristics that can further ignite the fire in a negative situation.

Try these tips first before immediately cutting ties with a difficult person.

If in case you’ve done these things and the situation isn’t any better, then that’s the time for you to move on.

Set firm boundaries and stick to them. These will help you navigate your way through difficult situations and create a healthy culture in your work environment.

 

 

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Miles Everson

CEO of MBO Partners and former Global Advisory and Consulting CEO at PwC, Everson has worked with many of the world's largest and most prominent organizations, specializing in executive management. He helps companies balance growth, reduce risk, maximize return, and excel in strategic business priorities.

He is a sought-after public speaker and contributor and has been a case study for success from Harvard Business School.

Everson is a Certified Public Accountant, a member of the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants and Minnesota Society of Certified Public Accountants. He graduated from St. Cloud State University with a B.S. in Accounting.

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