The Myth of The Nice Girl: Here’s how you can achieve a rewarding career without sacrificing your true self!

Fridays: Mindfulness by Miles FROM THE DESK OF MILES EVERSON: A new month means it’s time for a new read! This March, in honor of International Women’s Month, we’d like to share with you a book by one of the best selling female authors of all time: Fran Hauser. We’re featuring this book because we believe many of us struggle with wanting to be liked. Because of that, a lot of us have been taken advantage of or looked over in our jobs, personal relationships, etc. Hauser’s book, though targeted primarily at women, can be put into practice by anyone who is struggling with people-pleasing or trying to gain “brownie points” in his or her career. Continue reading to know more about this book and learn some tools you can use to stay kind and progress in your career. CEO, MBO Partners Chairman of the Advisory Board, The I Institute

The Myth of The Nice Girl: Here’s how you can achieve a rewarding career without sacrificing your true self! The Myth of the Nice Girl The business world has gotten countless negative attention for being stone-faced and cruel at times. The idea of putting on a mask and not being true to oneself while at the workplace has been prominently shown across various Hollywood films. However, as we progressed as a society and began to pay strong attention to authenticity, we’ve begun to create a new reality of celebrating each other’s uniqueness at work. … and as a CEO and business leader, I find this lesson to be of great importance. So, when my daughter came to me bragging about her new read and how much it helped her as a female worker who struggles with remaining kind while not being looked over, I figured I’d give that book a read. THE MYTH OF THE NICE GIRL: Achieving a Career You Love Without Becoming a Person You Hate This book is Italian author Fran Hauser’s bestseller. While this is targeted at deconstructing the negative perception of "niceness" that women in particular struggle with in the world of work, I believe there are some major takeaways everyone, regardless of gender, can learn from here. I had been in a workplace where the boss had ruthless, tyrant-like blow ups if things got messed up. I also encountered many women who struggled with what Hauser emphasized in her book―that if they are nice, they are seen as weak and ineffective, but if they are tough, they are considered rude. Throughout Hauser's book she showed individuals don’t have to sacrifice their values or hide their authentic personalities to be successful in their careers. She went on to reclaim and reconstruct the idea of what a true leader looks like. It was not until I read her book that I began to realize the exact personality traits I would want to see in a leader―the same traits I’d also like to apply to my own leadership style. It never crossed my mind to say I want a leader who is cold, aggressive, loud, or forceful. Sure, I want a strong leader who’s ready to take risks and is bold when it comes to getting the job done and protecting his team, but I also want a leader who IS kind AND compassionate. Leaders must show empathy at times and be available to their team. One of our core principles at MBO Partners is teams that trust each other thrive. Unless a leader is kind, compassionate, and understanding, the team will suffer. As we continue into the future of work, which still primarily seems to be at our own homes, we are engaging and seeing our fellow employees in both their personal life and work life. Overall, my major takeaway from this book is the importance of reflecting and realizing the types of leadership qualities I want to use in my everyday life. I want to be a leader who is courageous and leads my company to success, yet not at the cost of making people feel they have lost their identity because of fear of me. I believe I am not only in charge of employees doing their roles right but also in charge of a team of unique individuals, who all should feel enabled to show who they truly are, develop their own skills, and become leaders themselves. I encourage you to find a balance between being kind and still being seen as a professional leader. Also, if you think you are sacrificing who you are as a person at work, I also encourage you to start showing your true self and ideas, and be open to others' responses. You never know, your team may actually like the REAL you rather than the person you THINK you have to be. Hope you’ve found this week’s insights interesting and helpful. Follow us on LinkedIn. Stay tuned for next Friday’s article!